On Marriage, Color Theory, And Self-Doubt – A Short Story

I was sitting at my desk when Chad walked into my office this morning.

“Do these two colors go together?” he asked.

He held a solid, dark purple sweater and a pink/purple dress shirt in his hands.

“Yes,” I said.

He brought the stack closer to me, under the light.

“The shirt looks more purple against the sweater,” he said.

“Are you concerned about it being too pink?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Either way, pink and purple work together because they both have red in them,” I said.

He walked away, satisfied with that answer.

I felt smug, getting to nerd out on color theory. I also loved that he asked for my advice. More often, I’m the one asking him for advice.

The truth is, he already knew the answer. 

We’ve had countless conversations on fashion, design, and color. 

In our early years of marriage, though, he frequently wanted help putting outfits together. But now it’s the exception and not the norm. 

He’s developed a great fashion sense and eye for color.

But he left self-doubt creep in.

Now, choosing an outfit is not a life-or-death situation.

But isn’t it funny how we still second-guess ourselves, no matter how much experience we have, or how old we are?

We never “have it all together”, even when everyone else does (spoiler: they don’t).

We’re this thing called “human”. And while we might, and should, grow in confidence, we’ll never attain perfection. And striving for that never ends well.

So what are we to do with self-doubt?

You lean into your spouse. Or your mom or dad. Or your wise friend or mentor.

When you bring it out into the open, self-doubt releases its grip on you.

When Chad was ready to walk out the door, I admired his completed outfit. It was designed well, from head to toe. 

And I heard these song lyrics in my head:

“‘Cause every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.”